A woman has lost her memory. Again. Except, since she has amnesia, she seems to have forgotten that she had already forgotten everything before. This is the scenario in the book Love Water Memory by Jennie Shortridge.
The woman’s name is Lucie. At least, that’s what they tell her. And the life they tell her she has, makes her cry. Her life is empty. Her parents are dead, she has no family except an aunt she’s estranged from. No friends to speak of. What she does have is a fiancé that she can’t remember and a lot of questions that she can’t seem to get answers for. Why does he love her? Why does she love him? Who is he really? Who is she? How can she marry someone she doesn’t know? How can he still want to marry someone who doesn’t know him? The answers Lucie get don’t console her. She doesn’t know the person she was but she doesn’t want to be that person again.
What makes a person forget? What does a person have to go through to make them want to press the erase button on their mind?
It’s probably fitting that I was reading this book while I waited for my laptop to be fixed. My hard drive crashed and I needed to install a brand new hard drive. Old shell, the same old feel of my fingers on the computer but it has no memory of me. No recollection of my password, my favorite sites, no suggestions based on things I’ve done in the past. Nothing.
And that’s weird since I’ve spent so much time with this computer and know so much about it. I know when and how it acquired the scratch on the cover. I know how old it is, I have the serial number saved in my journal. I know things about it but our relationship is now one-sided. So when I opened it up for the first time after picking it up from the repair shop, I had to reintroduce myself – create a user name to store my (now nonexistent) files and a new password to access them. I could have been anyone and it would have let me do the same thing.
And I think that’s what amnesia is. When Lucie is found after going through her dissociative break, her fiancé has to provide evidence that he knows her so the police will release her to him. But he could have been anyone from her past. Anyone.
The thing that I liked about the story. When she went through her episode, they’d been fighting. Their relationship had gotten tense. She didn’t remember him. And her fiancé could just as easily have used that as an excuse to walk away and end things. She wouldn’t even remember anyway.
But he fights for her, fights for the new her even if the old her wasn’t perfect. Fights to give her a chance to reclaim her pride of place.
Like I had to fight for my computer. When it broke, I had been spending less and less time with it. I went to bed with my iPad, took my iPad to Starbucks and really only used the computer to save files. I’d been ignoring it for so long. I wasn’t surprised when it blanked out on me.
But when it was gone, I realized how much I missed it. I miss the old computer, all the cool stuff I’d saved on it for 4 years, all the special memories it held for me. But those memories are gone now, whether I choose to accept that or not, and I have a ‘brand new” computer in its place, allowing me to make new, even more special memories with.
Lots of Love, No-Water and a Great Opportunity for Memories. My Macbook Pro and Me.
Life imitates art. Again.