What do you do when you’re feeling stuck snd you can’t figure out what to do about it?
I try to be a pretty upbeat person. When I feel a little anxious, I run, I pray, I write, I watch TV, I do a puzzle, I lie flat and stare at the ceiling and chant that better days are coming. But honestly, there are days when none of that seems to work. Some days, not even the prettiest Pinterest quote can make me smile.
Today was one of those days.
I put on some of my favorite songs, and imagined myself in a place where all the dreams I have now had already come true, and I was being forced to dream new dreams.
But I couldn’t picture it. My dreams have been so long in coming, that sometimes I feel like they will never get here. I feel like there’s a platter in front of me with all the things I’ve ever wanted, but I have no hands and can’t reach for the gifts.
And all I could do was cry, which didn’t make me feel better. In fact, I felt worse.
I cursed. I’m not proud of it. But I was alone and I said a couple of words that I would never repeat for anyone else to hear them. I took my computer and held it like I was going to toss it. And then I didn’t. I cried a little more and I waited for the feeling to pass. There’s hope in silence because only when you’re still and quiet, can you hear God’s voice speaking to you, reassuring you that there is indeed a plan and a purpose.
Psalm 46:10 says “Be still and know that I am God.”
So I went to church because being surrounded by praise helps me to praise and church is one of my happy places. And when I came home feeling better, I made this little doodle to encourage myself the next time I’m down.