1 Movie I Would Never Watch

I woke up this morning to the news that former NFL Tight-end Aaron Hernandez had killed himself in his jail cell. Two years ago, he was convicted of murder and sentenced to life without the possibility of parole. When I heard that verdict, I remember saying they should watch him carefully because that kind of sentence, a destiny without hope for change, well that can just mess with your head and cause a person to say well if I am going to die here, there’s nothing to lose. But the years went by without incident and just recently, Hernandez went through another trial, this time for a double-murder that happened before his arrest. And just last week, he received a not-guilty verdict. He won his case but at the end of the day, he was still handcuffed and returned to jail because, life without parole.

Then today, this 27 year-old man decided life without parole wasn’t a life he wanted. Forget the possibility of appeal, he was out. He’d been a college athlete, one of the youngest players in the NFL lineup, a member of the celebrated New England Patriot team, known and lauded all over the country. And now that the high was over, he couldn’t handle the low. Regardless of his circumstances, here was a man who still had a fiancee, a baby, a mom, family members but none of that inspired him to want to continue living.

Suicide is really hard to hear about and it’s not something I joke about or make light of. There’s a movie that came out recently entitled Suicide Squad. I know it’s supposed to be about superheroes who take on difficult missions in exchange for reduced sentences or freedom or something like that but it’s not a movie I would ever watch – just because of the name. I know a lot of people don’t take my position, considering the movie has grossed almost $750M already. But this isn’t something I take lightly and want to make light of. I don’t think suicide is a word that should be banded about and given to children to roll around in their subconscious. A few days ago, someone I work with joked about people killing themselves and I shut that joke down really fast and had a talk with them – he kept saying, It was just a  joke, I love life. I don’t think that’s funny.

There’s a quote I use all the time. Everything works out in the end; if it hasn’t worked out yet, it’s not the end. 

You have to be patient. If you’re going through a difficult period, just endure. Do your best to change your situation and don’t give up. A person who gives up, also gives up on the opportunity that the situation can change. Prematurely ending the story in the middle, before the plot twist, before the resolution, well, that removes the possibility of overcoming.

Hernandez in his 2015 court case  Source

Hernandez had an appeal coming. Jose Baez, the lawyer who was working with him on this most recent case was also the lawyer who worked to get Casey Anthony’s acquittal. I thought Baez/Hernandez would appeal and get the conviction overturned, at least achieve a possibility of rehabilitation and parole for this young man. There was hope! But he gave up, ended his story in the middle, where it was still hard. And that’s just sad.

Last week, there was a news report about a New York judge who had jumped in the Hudson river and killed herself. I watched the story, heard her list of accomplishments – she was the first Muslim female judge, first black woman on that bench, etc. A woman of accomplishments. A woman who had fought for her position. I didn’t believe the report of suicide. I said to my friend, a person that educated should have also learnt tools to handle whatever she was facing. And maybe I was right. This morning, they released an update that they are investigating suspicious circumstances that might prove her death was actually not suicide after all. Yes, she’d been stressed and going through some hardships but most people go through tough times all the time. Most of us don’t quit.

If you’re going through something difficult, don’t give up. As the world continues, more bad stuff will happen that will eclipse in severity the terrible things that you feel you’re experiencing now. So yeah, more disappointment is in the future. But here’s the good part. There’s more good to look forward to also. There’s good and there’s bad. There’s sunshine and rain. That’s life. Don’t give up on it.

If you ever need to talk to someone about how you’re feeling, call 1-800-273-8255

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17 Comments Add yours

  1. I totally block myself from the TV news (I only listen to NPR and Kids Bop) so I didn’t even know this until i just read your post.

    hurts my heart that people can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and choose suicide. It is so sad for sure. I watched 13 reasons Why on Netflix about a teenage girl that kills herself….it is such a hit home true life story but it still does not help me understand how death is better than living. I have a mental health background and have been through years of therapy. Even at my lowest, death was not an option. I could always see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel so sad for those who can’t.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Run Wright says:

      Oh I have heard about that show on Netflix but haven’t seen it. I just canceled my subscription, actually. I just don’t have time to watch right now. Maybe in the fall when I start spending more time indoors again. During the warm weather we are experiencing now and hopefully more to come, I want to focus on being active outside, work on my physical health.
      Kudos to you for going through therapy and coming out strong. I hear so many horror stories so it’s great to hear your positivity.
      Thanks for the comment, T.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. great plan for sure!!


      2. Run Wright says:

        I think so 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Such a thought provoking post, there’s nothing I don’t agree with about what you said. I hadn’t given that movie title much thought, it’s not one I’ve seen but my teenagers have watched it and you’re right to point out…what message or flippant attitude does that send to young people about suicide? I enjoy your writing style, glad I found your blog:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      Thanks for the comment, Renee. I’m happy to be able to share my thoughts with you too.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. MH says:

    Having had my own bouts with depression and suicidal thoughts during different periods of my life, I can understand how a person gets to that point. And I’ve learned not to judge. That rarely helps.
    And sometimes shows an ignorance and insensitivity to just how deep the sufferer’s plight is. Ppl who are at that point are not thinking rationally, and it’s not necessarily that they want to die or hurt themselves… they just don’t want to go on. I’ve learned thru years of therapy that that’s a normal response to overwhelming stress or sadness.
    I’m certainly not cosigning AH’s actions. He and I share an alma mater and I know Gator nation is beyond shocked as well. His family has lost him all over again, this time permanently, and I can’t imagine how they must feel. It’s also a horrible legacy for his child. Yes, things could have been different.
    And as far as “tools” not all highly intelligent/intellectual ppl (not saying AH was, but in reference to that judge, also not discounting foul play) are automatically emotionally intelligent. Tell you the truth, I tend to believe that it’s usually ppl who leave room for no gray areas in life or achievement that have difficulty waiting out tough times. And throwing platitudes at them is usually ineffective. They’re past flowery words. I can tell you that from experience, even though it was through those tough times that I developed the emotional intelligence to endure.
    Not everyone is wired the same way, not everyone is tested the same way. I had to build an emotional support system of a handful of true friends to get thru a lot, even currently. Inner strength is great, but sometimes it keeps​ ppl from being vulnerable and reaching out for help when they need it. And hopefully they receive compassion, not criticism.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      Thank you for your thoughtful and thought provoking comment, MH. I appreciate your sharing your story and I apologize if I offended you. I never want to judge what another person is going through. They say unless you’ve walked in someone’s shoes, you don’t understand and maybe I’ve just been blessed to the point of not understanding so I am sorry that I was judgmental. I was angry that this happened and I just kept feeling like suicide isn’t a decision that a person should come to rationally but you are right, maybe it is the result of desperation because they can’t come to another option.
      I do feel compassion towards his family. I am thinking of writing a letter to his mother so thank you for making me think about this situation from another perspective


  4. I was just reading about this this morning. I’ve never faced life in prison or been to prison at all, but I can only imagine how hopeless his situation must have felt. Prayers to his family and friends. I’ve been in a depression before, but I never ever considered suicide. Things got better. Not as soon as I wanted, but it DID get better. I think we as people need to learn patience.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      You’re right about being patient, David. The Bible does say it is a virtue – something that one only develops after working at it. Life can be overwhelming at times but I hope no one else ever feels like it weighs too heavily and they would rather give up.
      I am glad you got past your depression and hope you use your experience to help others who might be going through something similar.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Amy says:

    Yes! I couldn’t agree more. My heart is so heavy for those who choose suicide and those they leave behind. There is always HOPE.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      Agreed about the heartbreak it leaves behind. I am planning to write a letter to this young man’s mother. I still don’t know how to get it to her but I am sure she needs every bit of encouragement she can get right now.


  6. I have been lucky that suicide hasn’t touched me personally, but you do have to wonder sometimes what drives someone to it. And other times, you actually have to wonder how people don’t consider it, considering the things that they go through.

    It’s really sad to think that people are to the point where they don’t want to live, yet sometimes, you can understand it. And sometimes you can’t.


  7. Ipuna Black says:

    What a great post. The topic of suicide is tough. It’s nothing to take lightly as you said. I think the best thing for anyone is to have coping mechanisms under stress. I thought your post was straightforward and still positive. There is hope for everyone.


  8. Drangonfly says:

    Feeling suicidal is a concept very hard to grasp when you haven’t experienced it. People often think it’s about losing hope, about having problems you can’t handle. About not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel so often people give the “don’t give up”advice.
    This may help some suicidal people but not all. Suicidal thoughts often have to do with depression. You may have the most wonderful life, with no problems that are overwhelming BUT you are depressed so it doesn’t really matter because the way depression works is that you cannot connect. You can’t connect with this wonderful life that everyone tells u is so worth living. You KNOW it is but u aren’t LIVING it you are watching like a ghost in a horror movie. You are behind a veil unable to participate. The first help suicidal people need is to get their depression under control ASAP. No words of hope will help if depression is not addressed.
    I posted a good review for suicide squad on my blog because I really loved the movie. Now I’m reconsidering. I take mental health topics very seriously and u are right! Not a word to be taken or used lightly so… thank u !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      Thank you so much for this thought provoking response. You’re absolutely right about addressing the major problem – thankfully I’ve never experienced it myself but I’ve heard that people with depression have a real disconnection and a chemical imbalance so they just cannot grasp the joyful emotions everyone else thinks they should feel. There are so many instances though, where we trivialize and overuse the word. I’m sure that doesn’t help deal with the problem in our society.


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