The Summer I Fell

I had these amazing plans for my year. I was going to get fit and look fabulous and prance around NYC in my brand new wardrobe, signing books that I had written effortlessly and that my adoring fans were plying me to autograph so they could treasure my words forever. It all looked perfect in my dreams.

And then I started a running challenge that wore me down after a few weeks and one morning (read yesterday morning), I went running on the streets like I usually do and I fell – face planted on the streets – the same streets I’d imagined being renamed in my honor when I became famous. I bruised both knees, pretty badly, to the point where last night I couldn’t even kneel down to pray. I bruised the palm and elbow of my left hand (I still don’t know how that happened) but even more than that, I felt emotionally wounded. A maintenance worker who had just come out of the building I was running in front of, and who saw me go down on the sidewalk, he just stood there for the entire time I was on the ground, writhing in pain. Through my tears, I noticed him just staring at me, I noticed that he didn’t ask me if I was okay. Nothing. A postal worker who was some paces in front of me, she came back and asked me if I wanted an ambulance. By then, my knee was covered in blood and it wasn’t a pretty sight. But I said no. I mean, I tried to sit up and I could. I could stand, nothing seemed to be broken so she picked up my phone, asked me again if I was sure and she walked away. Only then, when I was firm on my feet and limping away in pain, did Maintenance Man ask me if I was alright. No, I’m not alright. You mean, you see me on the ground less than 5 feet from you and you can’t even come over to help me up. Really?

So that happened. I came home, cried myself to bits as I washed and dressed my wounds but there was no salve for my broken spirit. That is, until my mom, who somehow across the waves in Jamaica always knows when her baby is in trouble, called me to ask me if I was alright. I felt better then. Good enough to go to work and move on in anticipation of the next good thing.

Fast forward to today, I feel like I am making progress and then my phone falls. Screen shattered, splinters on the floor kind of fall. And I just started crying all over again.

It’s not the same kind of pain but this stuff is hard man. I was doing so well too Okay, so my dreams weren’t really coming true but I was convinced that I was on the brink. And then two days, it just feels like everything is coming to a crashing stop. And now, I don’t know if I want to leave home tomorrow. I can’t handle another fall of any kind. Pray for me.

Meanwhile, I hope you’re having a better week than me. Please, tell me something good.

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17 Comments Add yours

  1. Paul Goddard says:

    I will pray for you. Remember that things are most challenging right before the breakthrough.
    Better days are coming so get back out there and claim your victory.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      Thanks so much, Paul. I appreciate the prayers. My mood was low but all this outpouring of love and support makes me feel so much better.

      Like

  2. Kate W says:

    I hope you’re okay (physically and emotionally!). It’s disappointing that no one rushed to help – I don’t really understand that because if I saw someone fall, I would help them, without hesitation. Your story unfortunately says a lot about the society we live in.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      There is a line in the Sunscreen Song that says, “Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard.” I feel like I experienced that hardness when I fell – people not rushing to help because of something else they have experienced that makes them hesitate to get involved.
      But that is not the vast majority of people and I have to remind myself of that.
      Thanks for the support here though. I am truly blessed to have supportive readers like you… now if only you lived in my neighborhood too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Jess T. says:

    This post was so well written! Sorry about your fall :c

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      Thanks so much, Jess. I appreciate your reading and commenting. The support makes my heart lighter.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh Karen…sending virtual hugs to you!!

    I hope your spirits lift and you pain heals physically and emotionally. I am glad your mom was able to give you what you needed.

    Like

    1. Run Wright says:

      She did and continues to do so. If there was only one person in my corner, I know it would be her. But you and all the members of this little community I have amassed here on the blog remind me everyday that my mom is not alone in my corner. Thanks for being there for me too. Hugs back to you!

      Like

  5. Vbowa says:

    Sometimes life punches us down but we have to get back on our feet( no pun intended) and punch back. Hang in there

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      Thanks, Bowa. I didn’t know you read my little offerings here on the web. Welcome!
      I remember when you helped me get back on my feet a few years ago so it’s good to hear from you and your encouragement is much appreciated this time around as well.

      Like

  6. Drangonfly says:

    wow. Sorry to hear about the bad day! The phone, fall and the physical and emotional pain, the unsympathetic maintenance worker! WTH is wrong with him? UGH! BUT I’m happy to hear you talked to you mom! Yup mother=child connection can be an amazing thing. It’s real, it exist it’s palpable. Hope you feel better by now. Sending you love and hugs xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      Thanks so much, D. It’s been a little dip in my mood but you know, I am up this morning and setting my sights on the future – when my bruises have healed and I have a new phone. until then, I keep reminding myself that in the big picture, these things don’t matter.
      Thanks so much for the encouragement. It means a lot when I send out my cry and so many of you lovely readers respond to soothe me. This is truly what a community is.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. jrusoloward says:

    It sounds like you need a hug Xoxoxo

    Like

  8. Kay says:

    Gosh girlie, hoping things are better now. If it makes you feel better, I face planted weeks ago in front of my office… and my phone screen cracked this week in the airport heading out of Guyana. Yep. I know your pain. Chin up friend. thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Run Wright says:

      Oh no, are we living parallel lives or something? if so, I am going to go make something awesome happen so I can be sure you’ll have something great to look forward to in the future 🙂
      I’m sorry to hear about your phone too. I know these are just things but a cracked phone screen is a real dud to look at

      Like

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