It’s my birthday today.
Birthdays should be celebratory. Like they say, any day above ground is a good day. And I am happy to be alive and happy to be celebrating another birthday but I’m also emotional about where I am in my life compared to where I wish I was. Yesterday, I cried because I didn’t want to cry today on my actual birthday but.. hey… it’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to.
I miss my Mummy. I wish she was with me today, so she could give me a big hug or a stern talking to so I could snap out of whatever mood I got into that’s less than happy. But Mummy is in Jamaica and I’m in NY and I have to make do with just hearing her voice and opening up all the birthday mail she sends. My Mummy is awesome; I guess that’s why I miss her so.
Other than that, though, is the feeling of not just growing older, but growing old. I had friends who didn’t live to be the age I am right now so I’m thankful to have gotten to this (BIG) number. Most people I interact with wouldn’t be able to guess my date of birth if they had ten tries. And it’s not like I woke up old and decrepit but there is the realization that time is moving and unless I move with it, I’ll be stuck in a past that doesn’t exist any more. In short, this is just a thoughtful, emotional time.
But I am choosing to think happy thoughts. I don’t have everything I want but I have a great life – a great family, great friends who treat me like family and I even have great acquaintances. I woke up this morning to birthday messages from even those special occasion friends – you know the kinds of people you talk to on both of your birthdays and maybe Christmas. I have a lot of those and I am thankful for them because it’s still a testament to our relationship that they take the time to reach out even on those days.
So I’m thankful for another year, another chance to make the most of my opportunities, another chance to become the person I want to become and I plan to use every moment of this new year in my life to work on being happier with my decisions. To spend more time doing the things that will fulfill me.
That’s why today, I am accepting an invitation to start a 365 day challenge which I’ll tell you more about later. For now, I just wanted to pop in, say hello and thank you for being part of this awesome life that I am celebrating today. God bless you all!