Nine years ago yesterday, I wrote my first few paragraphs of a new journal and opened it up to share with the whole world… or any person who wanted to read what an introverted person had to say from the anonymity of a online profile that couldn’t link to my real identity. I had poems that burst from my soul that I wanted to recite; stories that reflected my experiences that I wanted other people to witness; and opinions that made me stand out a little that I wanted to share but I was still living in the fear of judgment and non-acceptance so a blogger’s cloak seemed like the perfect way to write and share without having to claim the accompanying credit or blame.
With the passage of time, I have grown more comfortable in my skin, evolved to marvel at what my hands and my tongue and my body can produce. I make videos now (find me on YouTube here) and share a big part of my life on Instagram (do you follow me?) but it took a while to get there. Sometime in the past nine years, I learned to celebrate my life and put myself out there to meet you, whoever you are reading my blog today.
Last year began a new chapter for all of us. The global pandemic forced many of us indoors, required both the gregarious extrovert and the silent introvert to turn to screens for contact, it required many of us to reinvent ourselves, to rethink how we communicate, how we project our voices and how we receive messages in return. A few months before the world changed for everyone, it opened up for me a little more and I became a mother. My now-toddler daughter is with me all day and I love spending time with her, teaching her, watching her and creating a world for her to enjoy. I rue the fact that she is missing out on socializing, and what she would have gotten from playdates and playgrounds, I find myself searching online for substitutes. Finding random videos of children that I can show her reminded me how much I still need from people who don’t know me – that as much as we have had to be cloistered and learn to rely more on the people with whom we shelter in place, that we still need random encounters on the internet, that we still clamor for support and resources from our online team, that online connections matter more now than ever before.
I still want to be part of your team. I still want to be one of the people you go to read their words, hear their opinions, listen to their testimonies, make connections built on what we share even if we never meet in real life. But then again, right now, connecting online is real life.
I haven’t been sharing a whole lot on this site for a while but I’m back today to do that again. I have a whole slew of articles waiting to press Publish but I’ll take my time to edit them, make sure they still capture what I want to say today. Because in the past few months, my voice has changed a bit – it echoes a little more of my new identity now but it also contains some of the things I have grown more aware of and sensitive about. The world is a little different today and I must reflect that in everything I do.
So thanks for being here. Thanks for reading and I hope you’ll continue being a part of my online family. Today feels like the beginning of a new era and I look forward to sharing it with you.